It has been quite a while since I have written anything on here, and even longer since I have written about my life. I have honestly been trying to get out there and live life, I do miss writing though so maybe I will get back to doing it on a more regular basis. Honestly, this post is more about me venting about some things to try to get them out of my head.
I have been doing quite well for the most part, there have been a few hiccups with my depression, but they only lasted for a few days at a time. I have been getting out there and dating, and meeting new people some, which is something I really would like to do more of in my life. I need to find ways to get a little bit out of my comfort zone to meet people.
On the dating front I have dated a few people over the past few months, nothing really developed in a long term way for different reasons along the way. I have actually deleted all of my dating site accounts because someone was accessing them and messaging people and blocking other people who I had messaged. I changed my password on every account a few times and even on my email address a few times. I just decided it wasn't worth the hassle to deal with. I will likely go back to them in the future, but we will see, I am honestly very tired of dating.
For those of you reading this who might not know me personally, I am a very logical person. I think my downfall will be wanting to understand things that I don't need to. Its the things that I don't control that I have the hardest times with. Back in April I was dating someone, honestly it was only for a few weeks, things could not have gone better, fluid conversation, chemistry on any level, I felt like we actually got each other, then one day she stops talking to me, a few days later she tells me she isn't over her ex and didn't want to be my friend or anything. I understand it, it just blindsided me. She didn't want to talk to me or try to be my friend or anything. I have honestly still not moved on emotionally. I really thought that I had, but I randomly ran into her, and the hurt and pain flared up completely, I have just been down the last few days since that. I just never learned how to let things go, and I really, really want to.
I need to learn how to let things go, and I need to learn how to cut myself a break. I need to learn to accept things as they are when I have no control over these things, especially in the case described above. I need to not beat myself up for things that are out of my control as well. I swear when my emotions get in the way I always wish there was an easy logical way to deal with them, but that isn't how emotions work is it?
I have not had much alone time in the last few months because I have been letting a friend of mine sleep on my couch pretty regularly, because she doesn't really have anywhere else to go, but I really miss my alone time. I really like alone time, it was once my worst nightmare, but I have learned to really enjoy my alone time, it can be very therapeutic.
I have been wanting to get some kind of pet in my apartment, I need to look into exactly how much extra it would cost to do that, because I think that will help me better deal with my loneliness, I would like to get a cat, but I am not sure if they are allowed in my building or not. If I get a pet, I will be sure to post about him/her on here on occasion and post some pictures.
I honestly just needed to vent about some things, I don't really expect to accomplish anything by writing about all of this, but I know for me it does help to get it out of my head at the very least.
Showing posts with label Internet Dating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Internet Dating. Show all posts
Saturday, September 20, 2014
Saturday, May 7, 2011
The Fallacy of Online Dating
This is just something that I have been thinking about today. I need to make a better effort of writing things when they are fresh in my mind rather than waiting until the thought is completely wasted.
I don't think that online dating is a bad thing, but I think it cacn be used in a bad way. Some guys and girls use it purely as a way of finding new people to have sex with, now there are sites that are more targeted towards this, but I have noticed both guy and girls on sites who have used them for this. I find that degrading.
I think that when used properly dating sites open up the options of people you could meet to people you would have never run into. I think these sites are great for finding things about people that you like, and also things that you don't like. I can honestly say that I have met lots of fun people through these sites. I know being a person that does not drink, and also does not enjoy the bar scene, this is a great new way to meet people, but it needs to be taken with a grain of salt. Some people avoid telling the whole truth, or flat out lie on their profiles. I personally choose to be completely 100% dorky me, after all I don't know how to be anyone else.
I have met some people who assume that just because you have a high number of things in common that you will magically fall in love like the commercials want it to seem, but I would imagine that some of the people in those commercials, while they are very happy now, had to go on several dates with other people before meeting the one. Its not a "tool" to be used and then assume that the first person you go out with will automatically be the one. It takes chemistry, and sometimes people can have a ton in common and lots of things they should be able to talk about, but just don't have the chemistry. Sometimes chemistry can take a little while to work out, other times you will realize that its not going to work out. Sometimes you find out the person who seemed cool online has turned out to be a complete jackass.
It can be very easy to draw yourself into delusions either on the positive or the negative end. When no one is writing to you, or replying to the messages, its very easy to get down about it. Its also very possible to get over confident when you might have multiple people you are messaging at once.
I think the one problem I have with online dating is that its not natural. Youre not meeting someone through a natural means within your life. You are introducing them inorganically, and as doing so it can be hard to establish what normal behavior for the "relationship" should be. Its not like people sit down and discuss this (Oh how I wish people would, it would have made lots of things much easier on me!). Its just one of those things that you have to try and see how much talking on the phone the other person likes, or how much texting, how much time together etc. I think it works best if both people are honest about what they like and don't like when things happen, I am most likely in the minority about this. I have found that I am too open and honest in most cases, some people aren't able to handle it when you're that open about what is going on I guess.
I have actually thought about writing a book, Dating For Geeks, which I think would be a great topic to cover for some other people like myself out there. Of course I have enver written anything more than a blog, I just think that this topic would be a good one to cover. For all I know there are already tons of books out there on the topic, but it seems like a very interesting idea.
I have been enjoying my self imposed hiatus from dating, although lately I have been extra flirty, and I can't decide if its just me being me, or if its me actually liking something, or even if its me overthinking stuff as I always do. I dont know.
Sometimes I am great at talking to girls, while other times I am more shy and reserved. It all really depends on my mood, but lately I have definitely been in a good mood regularly, so I have been very flirty with the ladies, and wow that sounded very creepy. I guess I have talked about how flirty I have been twice. I am still just trying to figure out why! Oh well, its really not that big of a deal though.
I just got a bit emotional when I noticed that my post on my friend who died, had been viewed nearly 3 times as many times as any of the other posts. I am still thinking about Dave on a day to day basis, I would still like for more people to write about him, but I think I got all of the commenters that I am going to get for that post.
I just got home from watching Thor, and over all it was pretty good. I would say about 7/10 which for a movie is a pretty good rating from me. I enjoyed it. There was a lot of good action. The characters were well developed through the movie. There were even a few laughs(more for me than there were for other people, because I laugh too much, and at weird times).
I didn't think the 3D element of the movie really added much at all. I haven't really ever been much of a fan of 3D. I don't think my eyes adjust well to it at all. I have to keep adjusting the silly glasses to get the correct 3D to actually work for my eyes. Really not worth it for most of the movies that are in 3D in my opinion, I hope the fad goes away again, although this time its partially about being able to charge extra for it. I just don't think in most cases all that much if anything was added by showing it in 3D. I do like that many movies are also being offered in 2D, but I thought Thor might have had some good 3D parts to it, I didn't really notice any of them if they existed.
There were some great shots in the movie, both of real environments, and of CGI environments. The movie has a lot of CGI, but most people going to see it probably are expecting that. My only other complaint about the movie is that it was just too bright. I kind off wish the 3D glasses would have been sunglasses for some of the scenes, so be warned about that.
I would like to give my ranking of recent Marvel movies that have been released:
Iron Man
The Incredible Hulk
Thor
Iron Man 2
X-Men Origins: Wolverine
I liked all of the movies here other than Wolverine. I don't know what it was about Wolverine, but the movie just didnt click with me, even though I was very excited to see it. I have even watched it a few more times to see if I can enjoy it more, but to no avail. I don't hate it or anything like that, just didn't really like it either.
I have actually been thinking about the older Marvel movies, kind of the first generation, and here are my rankings for those while we are at it:
Spiderman 2
Spiderman
Xmen 2
Xmen
Xmen: The Last Stand
Spiderman 3
Fantastic 4
Hulk
That took some time to think about. I think I am satisfied with those rankings though. I will usually watch any of the top 5 if I see them playing on tv while channel surfing. I didn't have a chance to see the second Fantastic Four movie, not that I really wanted to all that much. I guess I could include Daredevil and Elektra, but meh, didn't really care for either of those, also have never seen either of them all the way through in one sitting. I have never seen Ghostrider or either of the Punisher movies. I have surprisingly never seen any of the movies in the Blade trilogy. I would like to at some point, but im not exactly dying to see them either. If they were all on Netflix, I would definitely watch them, I will leave it at that.
I really think that overall, for the most part, the movies coming from Marvel materials have been well done any enjoyable. There have been a few exceptions, but I have gotten quite a bit of enjoyment from these movies, and I look forward to the future releases.
Anyone else think Nathan Fillion would be awesome as Ant-Man/Hank Pym?
Does it seem like I have a man crush on Nathan Fillion?
So what if I do?
Well thats all I have for now, thanks for reading.
I don't think that online dating is a bad thing, but I think it cacn be used in a bad way. Some guys and girls use it purely as a way of finding new people to have sex with, now there are sites that are more targeted towards this, but I have noticed both guy and girls on sites who have used them for this. I find that degrading.
I think that when used properly dating sites open up the options of people you could meet to people you would have never run into. I think these sites are great for finding things about people that you like, and also things that you don't like. I can honestly say that I have met lots of fun people through these sites. I know being a person that does not drink, and also does not enjoy the bar scene, this is a great new way to meet people, but it needs to be taken with a grain of salt. Some people avoid telling the whole truth, or flat out lie on their profiles. I personally choose to be completely 100% dorky me, after all I don't know how to be anyone else.
I have met some people who assume that just because you have a high number of things in common that you will magically fall in love like the commercials want it to seem, but I would imagine that some of the people in those commercials, while they are very happy now, had to go on several dates with other people before meeting the one. Its not a "tool" to be used and then assume that the first person you go out with will automatically be the one. It takes chemistry, and sometimes people can have a ton in common and lots of things they should be able to talk about, but just don't have the chemistry. Sometimes chemistry can take a little while to work out, other times you will realize that its not going to work out. Sometimes you find out the person who seemed cool online has turned out to be a complete jackass.
It can be very easy to draw yourself into delusions either on the positive or the negative end. When no one is writing to you, or replying to the messages, its very easy to get down about it. Its also very possible to get over confident when you might have multiple people you are messaging at once.
I think the one problem I have with online dating is that its not natural. Youre not meeting someone through a natural means within your life. You are introducing them inorganically, and as doing so it can be hard to establish what normal behavior for the "relationship" should be. Its not like people sit down and discuss this (Oh how I wish people would, it would have made lots of things much easier on me!). Its just one of those things that you have to try and see how much talking on the phone the other person likes, or how much texting, how much time together etc. I think it works best if both people are honest about what they like and don't like when things happen, I am most likely in the minority about this. I have found that I am too open and honest in most cases, some people aren't able to handle it when you're that open about what is going on I guess.
I have actually thought about writing a book, Dating For Geeks, which I think would be a great topic to cover for some other people like myself out there. Of course I have enver written anything more than a blog, I just think that this topic would be a good one to cover. For all I know there are already tons of books out there on the topic, but it seems like a very interesting idea.
I have been enjoying my self imposed hiatus from dating, although lately I have been extra flirty, and I can't decide if its just me being me, or if its me actually liking something, or even if its me overthinking stuff as I always do. I dont know.
Sometimes I am great at talking to girls, while other times I am more shy and reserved. It all really depends on my mood, but lately I have definitely been in a good mood regularly, so I have been very flirty with the ladies, and wow that sounded very creepy. I guess I have talked about how flirty I have been twice. I am still just trying to figure out why! Oh well, its really not that big of a deal though.
I just got a bit emotional when I noticed that my post on my friend who died, had been viewed nearly 3 times as many times as any of the other posts. I am still thinking about Dave on a day to day basis, I would still like for more people to write about him, but I think I got all of the commenters that I am going to get for that post.
I just got home from watching Thor, and over all it was pretty good. I would say about 7/10 which for a movie is a pretty good rating from me. I enjoyed it. There was a lot of good action. The characters were well developed through the movie. There were even a few laughs(more for me than there were for other people, because I laugh too much, and at weird times).
I didn't think the 3D element of the movie really added much at all. I haven't really ever been much of a fan of 3D. I don't think my eyes adjust well to it at all. I have to keep adjusting the silly glasses to get the correct 3D to actually work for my eyes. Really not worth it for most of the movies that are in 3D in my opinion, I hope the fad goes away again, although this time its partially about being able to charge extra for it. I just don't think in most cases all that much if anything was added by showing it in 3D. I do like that many movies are also being offered in 2D, but I thought Thor might have had some good 3D parts to it, I didn't really notice any of them if they existed.
There were some great shots in the movie, both of real environments, and of CGI environments. The movie has a lot of CGI, but most people going to see it probably are expecting that. My only other complaint about the movie is that it was just too bright. I kind off wish the 3D glasses would have been sunglasses for some of the scenes, so be warned about that.
I would like to give my ranking of recent Marvel movies that have been released:
Iron Man
The Incredible Hulk
Thor
Iron Man 2
X-Men Origins: Wolverine
I liked all of the movies here other than Wolverine. I don't know what it was about Wolverine, but the movie just didnt click with me, even though I was very excited to see it. I have even watched it a few more times to see if I can enjoy it more, but to no avail. I don't hate it or anything like that, just didn't really like it either.
I have actually been thinking about the older Marvel movies, kind of the first generation, and here are my rankings for those while we are at it:
Spiderman 2
Spiderman
Xmen 2
Xmen
Xmen: The Last Stand
Spiderman 3
Fantastic 4
Hulk
That took some time to think about. I think I am satisfied with those rankings though. I will usually watch any of the top 5 if I see them playing on tv while channel surfing. I didn't have a chance to see the second Fantastic Four movie, not that I really wanted to all that much. I guess I could include Daredevil and Elektra, but meh, didn't really care for either of those, also have never seen either of them all the way through in one sitting. I have never seen Ghostrider or either of the Punisher movies. I have surprisingly never seen any of the movies in the Blade trilogy. I would like to at some point, but im not exactly dying to see them either. If they were all on Netflix, I would definitely watch them, I will leave it at that.
I really think that overall, for the most part, the movies coming from Marvel materials have been well done any enjoyable. There have been a few exceptions, but I have gotten quite a bit of enjoyment from these movies, and I look forward to the future releases.
Anyone else think Nathan Fillion would be awesome as Ant-Man/Hank Pym?
Does it seem like I have a man crush on Nathan Fillion?
So what if I do?
Well thats all I have for now, thanks for reading.
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