Dating Update

I am not sure how much I have shared about this, but I am currently on a dating hiatus. This doesn't mean that I haven't had the urge to ask someone out lately, but just that I have not done so. I have really been doing this for a few different reasons.

1. I have been working on losing weight, and I have been successful in doing so.
2. I needed to recover from the damage I received last time I really let someone in.
3. I am planning on moving soon, so dating someone here would not work too well.
4. On top of just recovering from the last girl, I want to work on myself even more beyond that. My psychological issues have been well documented on my blog(s) in the past, and I really just want some time to be me, and enjoy life without any added worries. I think this was long overdue for me.

I guess that last item could have been discussed in a bit longer form. It has been quite a while since the last time that I had a real crush, it might be a record, well since I was first interested in girls at least.

I had a good discussion on twitter with someone who was going through some issues with unrequited feelings, and maybe not dealing with them in the most subtle way either. I have all to much experience dealing with that, but it has been nearly 6 months, which is once again probably a record for me.

My biggest issue right now is in regard to dating. If I move to a new area, I might want to give dating a try over there, as a way of making new friends and as a way to potentially meet someone. I think that this is just me trying to convince myself that I should see what is out there right now, but maybe I am just bored. It is really something for me to ponder, I still have a lot of weight to lose, and I don't want to get sidetracked on that. Of course it is possible that I could meet someone who would only help encourage me down the right path too. The short answer right now is that I don't know what I am going to do, only time will tell. This is just something that has been going through my head a lot lately, I might just test the water, if it doesn't go well I will take a step back from it. As usual I just find it helpful to put my thoughts down on the page. I am always open to advice or just thoughts that people have one the subject.

I am a Chameleon

I have come to the conclusion that my personality is a bit of a shapeshifter. Its not the same all the time, and it is also different in different situations. Sometimes I am bubbly and outgoing, while other times I am quiet and withdrawn. I can't even control what my personality is like all the time. It does seem like my personality is a bit bipolar.

I also think my anxiety can play into this. I hate being in large groups of strangers in social situations, like parties. I don't like walking around introducing to myself to strangers. Talking to strangers without any actual reason scares the hell out of me. So instead, I will just stand with a group of my friends, or avoid the situation all together. If I have to go meet with someone its really easy to overcome the anxiety. I guess I wish I had resolved more of this  stuff when I was younger, but alas I did not.

At work when I am in my element, people have no idea that I suffer from depression. I might come off as a jerk, a lovable jerk, but a jerk nonetheless. I am comfortable, and outgoing, and I like talking to my co-workers. For the most part. I just need to help get myself more comfortable in more situations to really overcome a lot of my anxiety.

I actually enjoy working at the Chippewa Valley Women's Business Conference today. We brought 3 people to the conference to work the booth instead of the normal 2. Having Karen, the only woman who works for the SBDC, at the conference seemed to give us a bit more credibility with the women.

I was tweeting random things during the conference, it got boring when the breakout sessions were going on. I think many of the things I tweeted during the conference would have been offensive, at least it amused me, what else can I ask for? I spent some quality time talking to the girls at the Clear Channel table.

So the blurry picture below is what I have to deal with when I sit on the couch. My roommate's cat Cubbie cuddling with my leg. He gets really warm sometimes.

So I have had the idea before to do something creative for people to enjoy, I just don't know what to do or how to do it. Earlier this week I had someone suggest that I make a podcast, that is very possible. I would need to get some equipment for recording, and I would also need to find someone who would want to co-host it with me. Last week when I was on the news, one of my friends suggested I be a tv personality, which I thought was kind of laughable. I guess it all comes full circle to the topic of my personality. If I were on tv, sometimes I would be laughing and having a good time, and other times I would be quieter. I don't know.

I think it will take some time for this to actually develop. Would you listen to a podcast even if you don't know me in person? What topics could I cover? A comedy cooking podcast? Is that even possible? Is this enough questions?

I must say that I have been throroughly enjoying watching Castle. Nathan Fillion is awesome as usual. In a wonderful moment, he dresses up as his own character from Firefly for Halloween which was something  I laughed so hard about, even though it had already been spoiled for me. I am only a a disc and a half into the second season, but I am loving it. I would really advise you to check it out, if you are looking for a new show to watch.

Well this is a relatively short entry by my standards. And this entry has been written on and off over the last 2 days!

Time to get ready to play trivia tonight.